The Nights

It's been some time since we moved away,
Not that I have begun to forget it.
As I grew more into you,
And you grew out of me.
I have missed the laughs,
I have missed the hugs,
I have missed the kisses too,
And the nights when neither wanted to hang up,
Even if there was nothing to say.

There are times when I smile to myself,
Thinking how beautiful the time was.
Then there are moments when anger rushes in,
Making it hard to accept how it is.
Late in the day I lie on my bed,
often writing my thoughts in ink,
But then there were nights you would be with me,
Listening to all the thoughts I had to say.

Those mornings I remember,
Your voice used to wake me.
Evenings spent anxiously in wait,
of the hour when together we were to be.
These shoulders you would lean upon,
And these arms holding you close,
Silent were the nights with none to disturb you and me ,
Quiescence of the dark with its own narrative to say.

But then you took it all away,
As your innocent eyes turned indifferent.
Sometimes my mind often delves into,
What could possibly be(your reasons)!
I have put back my life together,
Honest if I were I wouldn't want you back,
Yet there are times when the heart ponders,
Blessed would have been the nights to have you by my side,
And a story for the future to say.

Punjabis:Busting A Few Myths

Ah finally a topic good enough to write about!

Of late I have often come across all sorts of opinions about Punjabis each one transcending us to a new level of being a stereotype.The fact that  most people judge you even when they know nothing about you never ceases to amaze & disappoint me.I am sure,no matter which part of India you belong to even you must have heard stuff about us & chances are on repetitive hearings you must have started into believing a lot of it too.Well I am here to explain some of that very stuff.

Even before I begin,there will be points in this blog where you might think that I am trying to represent the whole Punjabi community,but the fact of the matter remains I can only draw examples from my own life.So what say?Shall we get cracking?

Myth #1:Punjabi Music Means Yo Yo Honey Singh

Eventhough I am an admirer of his music,doesn't mean that he is the only one who has got the talent to get you grooving & sing in Punjabi at the same time.Yes the man is currently enjoying an unprecedented surge in popularity and being torn away by hypocrites claiming to be feminists,still my playlist includes fine Punjabi songs from a whole plethora of other singers/composers.Punjabi music is a lot more than just one man.Though 8/10 Punjabi songs will always be about love or rather fights over love,yet there is a song for every mood & every swing.Some far outdoing their Hindi counterparts when it comes to lyrics & the music.Some being even labelled as classic "whisky songs".So next time when you ask me whether or not I am listening to Punjabi music esp. the ladies,please don't jump to the conclusion "he must be listening to Honey Singh & thinking of ways to corner me."Sorry but that's just not me.

Myth #2:Punjabis Are All About Showing Off

It goes without saying that this has been the most famous of all myths I have ever come across.Imagine yourself managing to save Rs2.5 lacs & finally being able to buy that Tom Ford suit you have always wanted,in your bid to look like Harvey Specter from Suits.Now honestly tell me what would you want to do with it?Leave it hanging in the almirah & wait for the lustre to wear off or rather jump at the first occasion available & wear it.People always talk about stuff they can't afford & label someone who can ,as a showoff.I mean what's the point in buying a new car if you're not going to drive it around.What's the point in buying a new set of jewellery if you don't wear it at that distant cousin's daughter's marriage.

Yes I am not a fan of people who try to rub it in,in others' face as well.But buying something for yourself,if you're not going to use it to the wish of your heart hardly makes any sense.Yes we do like to celebrate it once in a while.If I ever manage to buy myself a Porsche,hell I will be throwing a party for every friend of mine.To me it is a way of sharing my joy with the people in my life,not because I want to tell them.they can't afford something I can.If you think like that my friend,you really need to look in the mirror & work on your pathetic life.

Myth #3:Punjabis Are Loud Mouthed & Cuss A Lot

To a certain extent this is not entirely untrue.Yes Punjabis tend to be loud people,but it's not like this is something we do deliberately.I personally am a very soft spoken person(or what I like to believe) but tickle my angry bone,you might as well hear me in the other corner of the city.Another thing is with bollywood glorifying the use of a certain Punjabi expletives like ullu da patha & a few others including bhencho,which is Virat Kohli's response to anything when he is not holding a bat in his hand,it doesn't mean we go around walking at home blatantly using them in our conversations.To me it's like more of a spur of the moment thing.If I am calling you a chutiya,it's not because I like using this word,but it's because what best describes what you might have done in that moment.We don't like to hold anything back.I mean come on,what would you prefer,hold stuff in your heart & then die one day with your arm severely paining as your heart goes into attack or rather let someone know what you think of them straight up?I would rather prefer doing anything but not die.Eitherways let's rather hope you would never give me a chance to use the whole range of expletives I know.
Besides I am pretty sure no matter what language you may speak,there must be a few cuss words & chances are there must be an occasion or two,the ones you have regretted using them.

Myth #4:Punjabis Booze & Party All The Time

All of us have seen Vicky Donor & all of us have seen the Punjabis in the movie,boozing insanely in a wedding & then behaving as utter fools.Truth couldn't be far from it.Every Punjabi wedding is held according to strict Hindu rituals & chances are you will find booze in like only 20-25% of Punjabi weddings(not counting the secret parking lot drinking binges).Yes most Punjabi people are jovial by nature & love to shake a leg or a hip.Doesn't mean you will find us at a dance floor or at the bar counter ordering a refill all the time,though most won't allow a chance to go begging.This reminds me I have successfully even managed to stay sober for 50 days in a row on my current sabbatical which is nothing short of an achievement.Yet the point remains,not all Punjabis do this.Some are shy,some like me avoid the dance floor,because honestly while dancing we often tend to look like John Abraham with a Nana Patekar face,making sure no girl in her right mind shall ever talk to us again.We are all for whatever the occasion demands & we generally don't say no to anything positive.

Myth #5:Punjabis Get The Best Looking Brides

There isn't much to say here but everyone around me guarantees me getting a good looking Punjabi bride,hopefully this is more of a fact than a myth.

Myth #5:The Unhealthy Food

And like always I reserve the most touchy-feely topic for the end.Ghee,makhan(butter),oil yes these ingredients form an inseparable part of our cuisine.Add to that the spices we use esp. my favourite black pepper,I wouldn't really call the Punjabi cuisine healthy but that's not the point here.The point is eventhough butter chickens,dal makhnis & shahi paneers will always be wrestling for top honours at any event,it's not like we eat the same stuff everyday.My dinner consists of the humble dal-roti with an occasional addition of rice & my lunches are pretty much the normal subzi-roti in other words ghar ka khaana.Yes when it comes to indulgences,we have a great variety to choose from & perhaps the most scrumptious of desi(native) alternatives at our disposal & they pretty much are the most popular of foods across the country& not just the northern part of India.
The different sort of halwas that form the desserts are pretty much as healthy as a mousse cake or a cadbury's silk bar.What you savour with all the worries of weight & health,we savour without the same worries.Yes we are always more particular about our food than anybody else is,after all what would life be without good food?

Unfortunately this last topic has started giving me the hunger pangs & has made it near impossible to continue,yet before I give my office boy a chance to kill me for staying way past the closing time,I promise I will update this blog whenever I come across a new myth.

Also just one last thing,I am glad I have got a whole bunch of friends from all over India who know me well & have never categorised me into a particular stereotype.

Live & let live,mantra of almost every Punjabi I know.

Satnam Shri Waheguru

From Being 24 to Becoming 25!

25th birthday is like a double-edged sword.On one hand you generally have enough money in your bank account to splurge as much as others want you to,on the other hand the luxury of terming your age as "in early 20s" is all but gone.Anyways I recently had my 25th birthday & from the 24th one to the 25th it had been one hell of a year,a year that taught me much & hence I am back to my habit of sharing my gyaan with the world,OK not so much with the world but a few privileged ones who prefer to read my blog.Enough with the pfaff,allow me to shoot:

1.Past Friends Become A Thing Of Past!
It's true,you have grown up & so has everybody else.Life isn't what you thought it should be.Busy schedules,hitler-y bosses,demanding girlfriends,family expectations,blah blah..the list goes on.One sad part of it being,old friends tend to drift apart.You know it's neither yours nor it is a fault of theirs.Weekends that used to witness binge drinking sessions or driving down to Murthal at 3 in the night to gorge on some butter laden paranthas,are now spent in the beds catching up on the lost sleep of the whole week because of that awful job.Some have romantic commitments to tend to on the weekends,since they know they are soon approaching that "getting married" stage of life.Parents want you to spend time with them,since this is the only time you get to spend at home.Lost amongst all these are those times,when the morning calls meant a cricket match & the evening calls meant a visit to the nearby juice-ki-dukaan,because that's where you would find all the hot chicks.

2.Peer Pressure Hits A New High!
People around you are doing all kinds of crazy things.Some are buying themselves new cars,while you make a transition from the shaving creams to the foam.Bosses expect you to wear suits,since a jean means setting up a bad example for the younger crop.Friends who never had enough money to pay at the theka(wine shop) would agree to meet only at swanky bars.Some have even earnt & saved enough to climb up a ghodi & take the marital plunge.Since I am good at my job,I don't have much of a competition at work(declares shamelessly),but I hate the sight of Chadha da munda offering laddoos to my parents since he has got admission in some US university.

3.Pfaff Will Get You Nowhere!
This is the age,when people expect you to know what you are talking,since you are no more a fresher,silly mistakes are not expected from you anymore.You have seen a lot of world since passing out of that college & hence you are expected to deliver correct words at every opportunity  be it an interview or a client meeting.Think before you speak or the chances are the other person might not think much of you at all.Humor sounds smart,forced humor sounds stupid.

4.World Is No Place For A Hero!
Corruption,bribes,etc are deeply engraved in our system & chances are by now you have had a first hand experience of these things.The outcomes of various negotiations,dealings are often hinged onto a fact how you can satisfy your client.Chances are at first you might hate it to the core & even decide to give it all up but for what's it worth,life is not lived on such excuses.The only way to be in a position to avoid these maladies is to grind your way through them & learn at every step.The world is full of all kinds of people & it's upto you as to what kind you want to become but then not upto you to decide the same for someone else.Put your head down & get the job done or else get kicked on the bum.Choice is yours.

5.The Art Of Conversation!
Last but far from the least,mastering the art of conversation is a must.Talking brings the best out of humans.600Km away from home even an auto-wallah might turn out to be your best friend if only you know how to talk him into taking you at every destination no matter how far in the minimal cost.The accountant might pass your bills without significant cuts if you can bear his nonsense in that tea-break.Your boss might put a good word for you to his boss while your gate-keeper might even keep a bottle of whisky stashed away in his store incase you want to enjoy a drink or two,late at night after the wine shops have closed.Chances are if you do this right,every single person in your life might prove to be useful in some or the other capacity.

That's all folks.I might have ended up sounding preachy(no wonder my friends have started calling me a baba) as I am not naturally comic.But yeah these really are the good-for-nothing-pearls-of-wisdom I have picked up in the past year or so.Time to move on.

The Most Anxious Hour of My Life!

"Son,can you get leave from your work?I am at the Kapoor hospital,not feeling well!Can you come?"
On the other side of the call is my old man.Considering the importance he gives to his work & mine as well,this has to be something really serious if he has asked me to see him.
"Ofcourse dad,I will be there in few minutes."

35 Minutes later:

On one bed in the emergency lay my dad,grimacing with pain in his shoulder & arm.The nurse carefully applying some kind of jelly on his chest & then putting on an ECG machine.Upon seeing the graph,the doctor present there immediately calls the cardiologist.He tells me there is some problem with my dad's heart.He has no clue what it is,so he has called the cardiologist.He asks a couple of questions regarding my dad's diabetes.Another few minutes of sheer anxiety for me & pain for my father.I had never seen him in a worse state.Trust me he is a tough man,he doesn't really writhes with pain,he has too much ego to show physical pain but today he just can't bear it.The nurse begins to take blood sample from his hand as a silent prayer begins to reverberate in my heart.

10 Minutes later:

The cardiologist has arrived.He sees the ECG & immediately tells me it's a heart-attack.I begin to panic inside.A HEART-ATTACK.It takes a couple of seconds for my mind to register what's happening.I ask him what needs to be done?He says he will need to shift my father for operation.There is a total block in one of his arteries he tells me.I still don't know how to react.I ask him what I should do?He tells me to deposit some initial money while they begin the procedure.I do exactly as told.Meanwhile my mother has arrived as well.Tears glistening down her cheeks upon learning about the truth.I try hard to control my anxiety & keep my left hand on her shoulder while the right one is busy signing the documents & wants the formalities to end soon.This hour--could it be any longer?

15 Minutes later:

We have been called in the Coronary Care Intensive(CCI) Unit.The doctor is explaining that they are trying their level best to revive my father.The operation is supposed to last for another half an hour to one hour,only then they will be able to tell the exact status of my dad's malady.He says hopefully everything should go alright.But do you really think as his son I am considering "hopefully" as an option?No he is my father & eventhough I know as a doctor you will give your best,I want your best to be enough.Enough atleast for next few minutes.Enough to get my father back to his healthy-self.He brings a document  which requires my signatures for it states that if anything goes wrong with my dad the hospital can't be held responsible.He tells me it is for "incase"!INCASE..really?I feel disgusted for a minute.Alas bereft of any options I sign & give him a go ahead.My mother barely able to conceal her tears & right now as the only son present there my job is to be a pillar of support for her.I put the bars on my own demons & begin to wait for some more anxiety filled minutes.

P.S.-Dad is on his way to recovery now.He was discharged from the hospital today.