Funny I should write this post today,a day before my third attempt at MICAT,the entrance exam for MICA,India's premier institute for Communications Management.I vividly remember 10th April,2012,having cleared MICAT that year it was a day before my GEPI.Today i.e.,1st March 2014,is a lot like that day.Almost two years have passed since that ill fated day when I was eliminated & told to go back home.These two years have been nothing short of a roller coaster ride.Since that day,I have often been lost in a trance wondering,how in the heaven's name could I improve myself & in this pursuit I gave it a shot again in 2013,failing to clear MICAT itself.
Since the morning I have been trying hard to get my mind off it,but let's admit when you give three years of your life to something it is almost impossible to shut your mind from thinking about it.Right now I am sitting quietly in my room,venting out my heart in this blogpost,in an attempt to ease my nerves.Nerves have been my biggest enemy till date,if not for nerves I might as well have been passing out of MICA this year.But anyways,most of the time I try not to think about it,today is an exception.I have told my brother to pretend I am not even at home,for I want to be left alone with my thoughts.I am glad my phone hasn't rung much since the morning for today is not the day I would want to talk to more than a couple of important people in my life,so incase you are reading this blogpost & also wondering why I haven't been replying to your calls & messages,please don't take it personally.As soon as I get done with it,I will respond back.
There is no denying I do want to clear it this time.Though most of the time I don't think about them,but today those two subsequent failures are back to haunting me.The sense of deja vu has gripped me since I woke up this morning.And then there is this sense of purpose too,which is playing at the back of my mind,telling me again & again that I have what it takes to clear this hurdle & do well.It also tells me,that even if I do not clear it,it won't be such a bad thing.Last two years are a prove of that,for there is no denying that I have lived the kind of life I always wanted,pursuing marketing for a living,travelling across the length & breadth of this country,picking up new experiences,developing a taste for whisky,meeting wonderful people,etc etc.So not much is lost eitherways.
Both are like boxers,landing blow to eachother & yet occupying my mind equally.I know its been only half the day till now & the next half will meander along pretty slowly.Fear grips me at times owing to past two years,but in the next minute I feel a hope as thoughts of spending next two years at MICA rush to my mind.It's a strange concoction.I don't want to think how the paper will be.I don't want to think whether I will be able to manage writing in a mere 35 minutes for I have always been a slow writer.Neither do I want to think about how it is going to be in the following days provided I manage to clear it again.
I think I will probably go to Chwringhee in the evening & order my favourite egg chicken roll.That ought to keep my spirits up.Maybe watch a couple of episodes of friends,enjoy Chandler whining all the time.Tomorrow irrespective of how it goes,I am going to come back home,enjoy India vs Pakistan match & will go out in the evening & toast myself my favourite whisky.One thing is for sure,tomorrow is a day I want things to shape up like I want them to be more than anyother day.Hopefully when the clock strikes 9AM tomorrow hope will overcome fear.Hopefully there is something happy to follow up in this post in the coming days.Hopefully sense of purpose will have it's way & the purpose of doing this since three years will be accomplished.
Anyways that's enough catharsis,you all go to doing what you were.Cheerio.
Since the morning I have been trying hard to get my mind off it,but let's admit when you give three years of your life to something it is almost impossible to shut your mind from thinking about it.Right now I am sitting quietly in my room,venting out my heart in this blogpost,in an attempt to ease my nerves.Nerves have been my biggest enemy till date,if not for nerves I might as well have been passing out of MICA this year.But anyways,most of the time I try not to think about it,today is an exception.I have told my brother to pretend I am not even at home,for I want to be left alone with my thoughts.I am glad my phone hasn't rung much since the morning for today is not the day I would want to talk to more than a couple of important people in my life,so incase you are reading this blogpost & also wondering why I haven't been replying to your calls & messages,please don't take it personally.As soon as I get done with it,I will respond back.
There is no denying I do want to clear it this time.Though most of the time I don't think about them,but today those two subsequent failures are back to haunting me.The sense of deja vu has gripped me since I woke up this morning.And then there is this sense of purpose too,which is playing at the back of my mind,telling me again & again that I have what it takes to clear this hurdle & do well.It also tells me,that even if I do not clear it,it won't be such a bad thing.Last two years are a prove of that,for there is no denying that I have lived the kind of life I always wanted,pursuing marketing for a living,travelling across the length & breadth of this country,picking up new experiences,developing a taste for whisky,meeting wonderful people,etc etc.So not much is lost eitherways.
Both are like boxers,landing blow to eachother & yet occupying my mind equally.I know its been only half the day till now & the next half will meander along pretty slowly.Fear grips me at times owing to past two years,but in the next minute I feel a hope as thoughts of spending next two years at MICA rush to my mind.It's a strange concoction.I don't want to think how the paper will be.I don't want to think whether I will be able to manage writing in a mere 35 minutes for I have always been a slow writer.Neither do I want to think about how it is going to be in the following days provided I manage to clear it again.
I think I will probably go to Chwringhee in the evening & order my favourite egg chicken roll.That ought to keep my spirits up.Maybe watch a couple of episodes of friends,enjoy Chandler whining all the time.Tomorrow irrespective of how it goes,I am going to come back home,enjoy India vs Pakistan match & will go out in the evening & toast myself my favourite whisky.One thing is for sure,tomorrow is a day I want things to shape up like I want them to be more than anyother day.Hopefully when the clock strikes 9AM tomorrow hope will overcome fear.Hopefully there is something happy to follow up in this post in the coming days.Hopefully sense of purpose will have it's way & the purpose of doing this since three years will be accomplished.
Anyways that's enough catharsis,you all go to doing what you were.Cheerio.
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